It’s me or her.

I hate being told no. I do it anyways. Just ask my parents. Ask my husband. It’s the truth! My parents warned him before we got married. He now knows why. It’s more of a challenge when I’m told no. Sometimes I take it personal. Other times, I just do it. It’s not that I don’t respect authority- that is a major rule for me. It’s that I am my own person with my own mind and my own body and my own life. Why should I be told no because YOU don’t want it? It’s not a disrespect thing. Once I put my mind to something, it becomes an obsession. And I fully think it through, and it makes sense, and it works. And usually when it’s done, people always agree it turned out great in the end, despite their frustration for me not listening to them.

The first time I dyed my hair, I was 16 years old and was on a traveling tour group with other kids my age. I called my mom one night and asked to dye my hair. She said no. And you can guess what happened next. Yep! I dyed it! So when my parents came to pick me up at the airport, I called them and warned them that they may not recognize me (like that would ease the tension!). Now before you all create this crazy image in your head of my face with a lime green tri-hawk, I did NOT cut my hair, and I dyed it a pretty Ann Margaret red. It wasn’t dark. Or crazy. And my mom will still tell me to this day that it actually looked good. But I did it.

So here we are today. I’ve dyed my hair purple, I’ve chopped it off. I’ve got lots of tattoos. People need to stop telling me no! I’m running out of rebellion! Or am I? Now that I am in my 30’s, my rebellion seems to look a little different. And the people I want to rebel against are no longer my parents, or even my husband for that matter (although I’m sure that road will never be closed). The no’s that I get these days are from the government, the school board, the law makers, and all of those people that I don’t know. And that DON’T know me. They don’t know that I obsess over their NO and think my yes through. That I go against the grain. I create my own path and see it through. And in the end, it always ends up good. This country was fought for and founded by fearless men and women who paved the way for MY freedom! My (and yours too!) freedom to believe what I want, to raise my kids how I want, to live life the way I want! They created the Constitution to limit the government control and protect the people’s God-given rights! Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, remember? The government today is a little too comfortable thinking they can take away our freedoms. They are wrong. And they CAN’T tell me no. Nor can they tell you. For those of you who agree with me, the good news is, you aren’t the only ones. I have made it a point to surround myself with other like minded individuals. It’s true what they say, “You are who you hang out with.” My friends all have the same core values as me. They believe the same beliefs that I do. They raise their kids like I do. They live how they want, like I do. We aren’t rebellious criminals, we respect authority the way God wants us to. But we live the way our founding father’s sacrificed for. There are plenty more of us. We go against the grain. We pave our own paths. That is the legacy we want to leave for our children.

I am proud of my stubbornness. I am proud that I fight for what is right. That I fight for what’s important to me. Whether it be our freedoms or even something as small as the color of my hair. I hope to pass that on to my daughters. I hope they grow up to be fearless because they saw that in their mother.

So as I wrap up this entry, I will leave with one more story. Many of you clicked on the title because it sounded interesting in a different way. I did that on purpose. And when I said that the rebellion against my husbands NO’s wouldn’t end, I wasn’t joking. We’ll maybe a little bit. But not right now. My husbands truck hates me. Every time I drive it, it breaks down on me. I’ve got a screaming toddler in the backseat that wants to nap at home, she don’t care. I’ve got a hungry and hot 6 year old in the backseat, she don’t care. Yesterday, I was pulling a flatbed for our future DMV appointment during traffic time, she REALLY didn’t care. And as I sat there on the side of the road waiting for my grandfather to come pick my daughter and I up, my daughter said what I was thinking. She said, “Mom, maybe this truck just doesn’t like you.” Out of the mouths of babes! So now guess what? I want a new(ish) truck! And guess what else? Hubby said no. And guess the last part? Yep! It’s me or her! But don’t worry, I’ve thought it through. It makes sense. And I won’t give up. Love you babe! ::wink::

The REAL me, Audra

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