Taken.

Last week, I noticed that a diamond was missing from my wedding ring. I gave it to my husband to take to our jeweler to get it fixed. Now, before you go thinking we have a jeweler on speed dial because I am obsessed with jewelry, let me tell you that is further from the truth. Remember, from my last post, I am “basic high-maintenance”. I am not a jewelry fan at all. I have kept the same 2 pairs of earrings in for the last 2 years, I don’t do necklaces or bracelets and my wedding ring is the only ring I wear. Our jeweler is a friend of my husbands and has helped him over the last 10 years, build the ring I have today. When he first went looking at engagement rings, I had told him that I did NOT want anything larger than 1 -carat. I love my ring! It started with my 1-carat solitaire engagement ring, followed by my wedding band, followed by another band on our 1 year anniversary, followed by one more band for my push present when I gave birth to our daughter. The two last bands total the look of my wedding band on the other side of my engagement ring and they are now all sautered together and look beautifully, if I do say so myself! I don’t ever want anything else, I don’t want it to change. The memories it has brought me, the hard work my husband went through to save up for each piece, it’s perfect. For me. But apparently not for him. He wants to upgrade the center diamond bigger and almost did last week when he took it in! Thank God he didn’t. $16,000! Are we kidding?! That’s a car! That’s 3 vacations! I could get my hair extensions AND lashes done all year AND spray tan membership for a year AND nails/pedi for a year AND my teeth whitened AND STILL SAVE HIM MONEY! No way am I EVER letting him upgrade that thing!

But my main reason for not wanting it upgraded is because I don’t need that. I am in love with my ring the way it is and my priorities are different today than they were 10 years ago. Before kids. Before a mortgage. Before massive dogs and their vet bills. But it doesn’t matter my reasoning for keeping my ring the way it is. It’s my ring. And I love it. It’s perfect for me.

It does, however, flatter me that my husband feels I deserve bigger, newer, nicer, prettier…more. As I type this, it brings a light to the fact that he sees my worth. He still wants to spoil me. He is still willing to work hard again for another piece. That I am still the one he wants to buy from our jeweler for. I am his and he is mine. After all, that’s what a wedding ring symbolizes right? I belong to him. And his ring symbolizes that he belongs to me.

My first marriage didn’t portray that. Apparently no one told him that was what those rings meant. Or maybe he felt that it only applied when he actually wore it. Either way, you would think I would’ve been devastated and scarred for life and never able to trust again after the heartbreak I went through. But that’s what I love so much about my “always and forever” now. His integrity is so transparent. His character is so pure. He is the most loyal, faithful, wonderful man I have ever known and I have no doubt in my mind that he will ever break my heart like that. I trust him with my whole heart. I know our marriage has a rock solid foundation.

Of course, the reason we have a rock solid foundation is because of who we built it on. Jesus. Our marriage has quite a story to it. But I’ll give you the cliff notes so this post doesn’t become my first book. You see, when we got engaged, we agreed on a year and a half engagement. We set the date, secured the venue, I bought my dress. Everything was going according to our plan. But not His. So a year before our planned wedding, I was invited to a women’s church conference called Cherish. It flipped me upside down and dropped me on my head. It broke me down to the core and filled every crack in my heart that I had tried to repair with tape and gorilla glue. I will never forget Lisa Bevere standing on stage and speaking directly to me. She said, “When people walk into your house, what do they see?” Ahhhhh!!!! My face turned bright red and I became so embarrassed! Because my fiancé and I were living in a 1 bedroom condo…so obviously they saw the 1 bed we slept in. And that rattled me. I never did before that. But God had shifted me. Changed me. And I spent all week crying and praying and trying to figure out how to talk with my Fiance about this change. It was terrifying…for me. But as I sat there spilling my tears and fears to him, his response proved to me that this man was the man I was destined to marry and spend the rest of my life with. “Let’s get married this weekend!” So we did! Saturday afternoon, during band practice at our church, in the foyer, by our pastor and along side both of our parents. And you know what? That was the first and best decision we made together. I truly believe that God has blessed us to where we are today because I not only wear my wedding ring to show that I belong to Keelan, but that I, on that day, showed Keelan that I belong to God first and foremost. And my amazing husband has always supported that. We even celebrated our 1 year Anniversary by holding our initial dream wedding, same day but a year later, with all of our friends and family. Just like we had initially planned! And ever since, our decisions have been made, together, with God being in the center. Just as He planned.

The REAL me, Audra