F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Goodmorning friends! It’s been a while! I’ve been busy, boy have I been busy. But it’s been a good busy! I’ve been busy setting my boundaries and building my friendships and having so much fun! My cup is so full right now! My heart is so happy! Allow me to share!

The two books I am currently reading: I Do Boundaries by Havilah Cunnington and I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) by Amy Weatherly & Jess Johnston

The beginning of June started with a trip to Palm Springs with a group of friends that I don’t normally hang out with all the time but got to know a bit better and create a fun, lasting memory. It also helped me build a deeper friendship with someone I had been wanting to do that with. Thank you Jesus! Then it dove straight into birthday’s! I have 7 friends and family whose birthday’s are in that first week, mine included!!!! So there was a lot of celebrating others, I even pulled off a surprise party for a special friend in my life! I gave a genuine gift to a new friend which allowed an opening for a deeper friendship with her and boy has that friendship taken off! I love it! It’s like dating someone new where you talk all the time and always want to hang out and find out all the things you have in common- it’s so much fun! I then was surprised myself by my hubby and a group of wonderful women who I love doing life with! They arrived bright and early at a local spa to decorate on my birthday and spend the day with me!

Then came VBS week! Vacation Bible School week is my favorite week of the year because not only does my daughter learn, have fun and make friends/build friendships, but it’s also my week I designate JUST FOR THAT TOO. Last year, I ran into a girlfriend at the end of the first day who I had been distant with for no particular reason other than being busy and found out she was going through some heavy stuff. I quickly told her we were spending all week together while our kids were gone and it turned into the best week of wineries, brunch, picnics and quality time! So I made that plan again this year! Only I made sure to plan ahead with her as well as my new friend I’m currently “dating” (That is a joke, I am happily married to my husband and her and I are not truly dating, for anyone out there that cannot take a joke). We had the time of our lives! I learned more about each of them and enjoyed being present and open and fun! And finally, my daughter started in dance with some families that have followed with us to cheer and then softball and now back to cheer and the friendships that have developed between us parents is amazing! I have found a tribe of like minded, genuine, deep individuals who will take my kid for me or help me out if I need it or be ready for anything anytime. They have their own sheesh going on and don’t let it interfere with our friendship and aren’t afraid to be open and honest with me about any of it. We all have our own struggles and support each other every way possible. I didn’t know these type of friendships still existed today, especially in our mid 30’s with families of our own! Thank God!

So now that you’ve read my diary today, I’d like to leave you with some quotes from my sweatpants book that I am reading. These quotes have opened my eyes to the people in my life and how I categorize them. I’ve realized that I’ve made more of an effort for friends that don’t do the same back and it’s taken away quality time from the friends that have always been there waiting for ME to make the effort. Now that I’ve set my boundaries and defined my friendships, I’ve now made an effort for those true friends and the happiness and peace I feel these days is outstanding! I urge you to do the same if you have felt the same way I have in the past. Stressed, not enough, trying too hard for those that don’t make the time for you, hurt when no one is there for you when you need them most.

Ten Qualities in a Really Good Friend

1. THEY CAN BE REAL. Fake is exhausting and overrated. We’re all kind of a mess. Friendship is a whole lot better when you can be in the mess together.

2. THEY ARE A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU TO BE REAL. If you can’t ever relax when you’re around them, they’re not your home.

3. THEY MAKE TIME. Everyone is busy, but if you want true friendship, you’ve gotta carve out the time consistently.

4. THEY LIKE YOU FOR YOU. If you have to impress, perform, or work hard to keep them around- stop it this second. If they don’t love you when you stop, then get out. Your energy is better spent where it’s valued.

5. YOU CAN TRUST THEM.

6. THEY’RE APPROACHABLE.

7. THEY SHOW UP.

8. THEY AREN’T SUPER-DUPER NEGATIVE. There’s a difference between being honest about the ups and downs of life and spewing a fire hose of negativity constantly.

9. THEY’RE AN ALL-AROUND GOOD HUMAN.

10. THEY PURSUE YOU RIGHT BACK. It’s essential to find friends who check in, invite you out, and text first. They initiate. They invest. They pursue.

****I am guilty of not being many or all of these myself as well as others not being them for me. That is why I am working on myself as well as defining my friendships with others, so that I can be a really good friend as well as have really good friends! Maybe someone is waiting for you to invest? Or maybe you are investing in the wrong friends. Or maybe your friendships are spot on and you are riding the wave-good for you! I can’t wait to get there! As Amy says in this book, “I’d rather lose the people who don’t genuinely love me than lose myself trying to make them all happy.” I lost myself and am building back up from scratch. It’s a scary thing to face your own personal faults. But if I don’t acknowledge them, then I am capable of ending up in the same place I was before.

And lastly, let me leave you with this final quote:

“I can’t be everyone’s Chick-fil-A sauce, and neither can you. For some people, you are going to be too salty, and for others, you’re going to be too sweet. For some, you will be too bold, and for others, you won’t have nearly enough flavor. You will be both too much and not enough for some people’s taste buds, and that’s okay. God didn’t make you to be loved by everyone. He didn’t make you to be generic and bland. He did not send you to this Earth so that you could be invited to all the parties or included in every group text. He did not carefully form you and make you and meticulously count the number of hairs on your head so that you could be popular or please all the people. He made you to love Him and to follow Him and to carry out his very specific purpose by being your very distinct flavor. Your flavor won’t be for everyone. It’s essential that you accept this, move on, and start walking in confidence like a woman who has been set free.”

Boom! She said it. I repeated it.

The REAL me, Audra